Sector 16,0
by kkann
Summary: A collection of one-shots generally focused on the lives of Tony Stark and Pepper Potts. Some serious, some...not so much. Pepperony. /Ch. 13: Sometimes Tony just thinks too much. But at least Pepper's there./
1. Forget my Liver, My Kidneys Will Kill Me

**A/N: **I've had the idea to write some Iron Man one-shots for a while now, and thought putting together a whole series of them was the way to go and probably couldn't hurt. Some will be humorous, others more serious and with an actual plot. Might as well start somewhere.  
And so, I give you this. Not the best thing ever, but I found some amusement in it. XD  
The title of this series is a work-in-progress. Titles are not my strong suits. xD;

Disclaimer: I own nothing except for the computer this was written on, and even that was a gift. D:

**You Just Peed In the Suit. That's Not Sexy.**

To be perfectly honest, Tony Stark had a problem.

Truth be told he usually did, but the one he was suffering from trumped the others ten-fold and in his frenzied state he was struggling not to deem it as one of the worst moments of his entire existence. And that was including the one time in Calgary with that woman with the Adam's apple that kept hitting on him. He'd bolted from her the moment she started approaching him and it had taken Happy nearly two hours to remind Mr. Stark that women did not, in fact, _have_ Adam's apples. A cheap Anatomy 101 class right there.

Ever since his demonstration of the Jericho missile overseas, life seemed to have a tendency to grant him with its 'AH-HA-HA-take THAT' attitude every waking moment of his life upon his return following his three month absence.

This moment in his life though, if it was even possible, made his captivity in an Afghanistan cave look like one of the deleted scenes from a B-rated movie people only scoffed at while promptly hacking up popcorn.

"Sir, as I have advised before, this process would go much more efficiently and painlessly if you were to stop squirming and hold still." He emitted a grunt as his arm was freed from one of the suit's sleeves, blatantly ignoring JARVIS's advice while he swayed to the side once more.

"Mr. Stark—"

"I _get _it JARVIS!" Tony shouted, spraying spit at the mechanical arms in the process of freeing him from his prison of his own making. "It's just a bit difficult to do so at the moment if you hadn't noticed!"

The technology around him whirred for a few moments as JARVIS processed this bit of information, and Tony could have swore Dummy was laughing at him from the corner where his arm was bobbing up-and-down in a mocking manner. He made a mental note to send a few threats its way once he got through his whole ordeal.

"Sir, your vitals indicate an increase in your heart rate along with—"

"I _know _JARVIS! Just get me out of this damn thing!" With only one arm freed Tony found himself batting with the arms and mechanisms working to remove the back and chest plates, jerking on his other arm. His legs remained rooted to the spot, leaving him to viciously chew at his lip to accompany the ungodly gurgle in his stomach. He wrenched his other appendage free after what felt like days—which in reality was only a few minutes, give or take a couple of seconds—, his body tilting forward as his chest plate was finally removed.

"Screw this," He ground through his teeth, jerking his body away from the machine trying to aid him in the removal of his self-acclaimed 'lone ranger' suit.

And promptly fell flat onto his face.

Or at least, as flat as he could thanks to the extra hundred pounds of metal encasing his body.

"Sir, I strongly recommend that you return to the platform that you have so gracefully just exited so that your new outfit of sorts may be fully and comfortably removed." Tony grunted at the sarcasm interlaced within the program's circuitry. With another lack of general grace, Stark was able to shove himself up onto his knees and then to his feet, shaking rather noticeably and feeling like he was about to burst. His patience had obviously reached his peak, and he wasted no timing in making JARVIS aware of the fact.

Also, since when had the AI gotten so snarky? Damn.

"JARVIS! Correct me if I'm wrong, but I'm pretty damn sure you've never had the urge to pee so badly that you can't think straight. So if you'll excuse me—god _damn_ I've got to get to the bathroom already!"

There was silence again. In the back of his mind, Tony was wondering if JARVIS was contemplating metaphorically 'flipping the bird' at his boss. Not that he'd be surprised. Wouldn't have been the first time.

_Potts. Get Potts._

Stark was practically gasping the sensation was so unbearable.

"Pepper!" Had she been thrown down the flight of stairs, the woman presumably would have had the same reaction judging from the way she practically flung herself down into his workshop. Tony almost smirked at the disheveled look on her face and the array of papers trailing along behind her. Almost.

"Mr. Stark! I was on my way down when I heard a commotion and thought something had fallen on you, and then I heard you yell and I…" She trailed off, gaze roving around the war-zone-esque her boss was pulling himself from. Not that she hadn't witnessed something similar earlier, but it was still fairly unsettling either way. "What's going on?"

"Pepper," He tone was near pleading as he repeated her name, and she could see the wild intensity in his eyes that was driving him crazy. He almost screamed in frustration, stumbling toward her as she strode slowly closer to him.

"Mr. Stark?"

In retrospect, perhaps Tony ought to have realized that he could have worded his request just a _bit _better. Would've saved him the embarrassment and the sting on his cheek from his furiously blushing PA.

"Pepper, I need you to help me take off my pants."

* * *

_And thus, the filtration system was born._

**A/N:** Otherwise known as a failed come-on.

Am I the only one who was wondering about the whole "You just peed in the suit." "I know, it has a filtration system. You could drink that water."? Honestly, where did that idea come from? I mean, who else would suddenly decide to install something like that? …Yeah, okay.

You go, Tony.

But I am hoping to continue on with this series of random one-shots! Mostly featuring Tony/Pepper moments. Any takers? Ideas?  
I'll be here for a while. :D


	2. Buddy Would've Known What To Do

**A/N: **Wow, two chapters in two days. What have you done to me, Iron Man? Alright, so I originally meant to post something else as the second 'chapter' thing instead, but I ended up writing this. It's short yes, but maybe if it had been any longer, it probably would've been too drawn out or just…not this? It's kinda rough though, isn't it? XD  
Thanks to _Elf_. That's where the idea came from. Along with Tony's perverted mind.

**We Should've Hired Buddy Instead**

Anthony Stark found Virginia Potts' office to be quite interesting.

So interesting in fact, that he had taken it upon himself to add his own personal touch, deeming it necessary to sort through every other file she had in it, leaving a personalized note telling her to re-categorize a few based on color, the sort of paper they were printed on, and just how amazing they were on a scale of '1 to Tony.' He was fairly certain that he'd get an earful for completely destroying the days if not _months _of work that she'd put into this system, but he saw no harm in having a little fun just to pass the time.

Besides, once upon a time this had been his office (and it still pretty much was, so whatever) and he already knew where things were supposed to. And hey, if she was going to have brain hemorrhage when she came back to find her things completely reorganized, but once he flashed her that charming lil' smile of his how could she possibly find it in her heart to be mad?

Then again, this was Pepper. The woman who'd put up with his antics for the past decade and rebuffed him more times than he could count. Of course, she'd finally relented and allowed a few of his charms to pass under the radar, even though she still thought it was inappropriate.

It was Tony. This was what he did.

Not that he didn't _like_ Pepper. It was just that he was a bit miffed that she wasn't so eager to go public with the whole thing. Whatever their _thing_ was, that is. But if she didn't want all these headlines circulating about rumored scandals between the two, why not just go out in the open with it? Doing so would save a lot of time and effort, let alone save him from having to tone down his flashy way of living even more. (Honestly though, when it came down to it, he just wanted to make her happy.)

Humming to himself he reclined in the chair that was once his, folding his hands behind his head and smirking smugly to himself like he the top dog he seemed to think he was. Having given his once-PA-now-CEO-now-PA-again the day off, he let his thoughts wander to earlier that day and his promise to finally give her the first official date she'd been trying to pry out of him. His grin grew. Oh she'd remember _this_ night alright. It was about time, too. If they were going to make it official they had to do something...well not _big_ exactly—then again this was Tony Stark—but rather something memorable.

Granted, she hadn't looked to thrilled with the day off from work that had more or less been thrust upon her, but she'd looked almost amused at the instructions to go home and get herself ready for tonight. He hadn't supplied much passed that and he hadn't felt the need to. That, and he felt it was only necessary to give her some time for some good R&R in light of recent events, returning to her position as his Personal Assistant after the Stark Expo fiasco with a side of half-assed Hammer-time on the side.

Tony was so lost in his own thoughts in regards to how he'd make up that near-death experience to Pepper that the ringing of the desk phone nearly sent him sprawling to the floor.

His fingers tightly grasping the glass edge he stared blankly at the Caller ID, his stupid smile plastered to his face as the phone carried on making its presence known.

"Aw, don't trust me Pepper?" He bemoaned sarcastically, only partly glancing at the name flashed across the screen. Tony being Tony, he couldn't just settle for a simple 'hello' now could he? Especially considering the fact that this woman calling could have been deemed his girlfriend and he was still working on trying to get back into her good graces after he'd failed to tell her that he'd been dying.

Reaching for the phone with a childish grin stamped to his stubble he jerked the phone from its hook, leaning back once more and unconsciously finding himself thankful that a heel couldn't be chucked at his head through the phone, but also dismayed at the realization that he'd be missing the blush that was sure to spread across her face.

"Stark Industries, what color is your underwear?"

Tony visibly paled.

"Oh. Heh, hey there, Mr. Potts… "

* * *

_No sir! I don't think of your daughter in just that way! She's a wonderful woman, and I…Well no, sir…Yes sir. I see sir. …I didn't mean it that way sir. No I don't think before I speak, sir. It was just a joke sir. …Point taken sir. …Yes sir. Of course sir. …No I wouldn't mind personally apologizing sir. I…sir?_

…_What grandchildren?_


	3. Would You Like to Share With the Class?

**A/N:** So, about this one here… It's a bit longer than it originally was meant to be, but all-in-all I suppose it's more fun that way. As to how I came up with this… Well, let's just say, I'm good at paying attention in class, no? I will admit that I zoned out at one point, and ended up thinking up this. Well, hopefully you guys enjoy it, so that's all I ask. Tony was also meant to have some random doodles added in at times, but I forgot to mention those. Initially there was some _actual_ writing interlaced at certain points, but obviously that didn't make the cut either.  
Their note passing was written in italics, so hopefully it isn't too difficult to determine who says what. I suppose you can tell by what they say.

**We're Like a Couple of Teenagers! I Blame You.**

_Pepperrr!_

_We're in the middle of a meeting. Can this wait?_

_Pfft. Like these things really mean anything._

_You'd be surprised._

_What are we talking about again?_

_Budgeting, benefits for employees, that sort of thing._

_Benefits__?_

_Not what you're thinking, Tony._

_Oh come ON. You have to admit you were thinking that too. Oh don't frown at me. You know what I mean._

_Sadly, I do._

_See! Not so bad, is it?_

_If you consider having to run after you all day and clean up your messes, then no. It's not so bad._

_I knew you'd come around sooner or later._

_Excuse me?_

_To the dark side! It's better here. You've got Tony._

_Did you just refer to yourself in the 3__rd__-person?_

_Tony does not appreciate the mocking tone you are using in your notes. Tony would appreciate it if you apologized to Tony. Or make it up to Tony. Tony's open-minded._

_Pepper is about to smack Tony if he doesn't knock it off._

…_Tony doesn't appreciate that. Remind Tony why we're here again?_

_Because you __are__ Tony Stark, head of Stark Industries. Attending meetings kind of comes with the title._

_Damn it._

_You're their go-to-guy._

_Can't you be the go-to-guy? …woman?_

_No. You're here for the good of the company. No, scratch that. You're more of the figurehead than anything._

_Are you saying I have a big head?_

_A big head, no. A big ego? Yes._

_Ouch. Aren't we done yet? Can't we just go?_

_Just because you're Iron Man doesn't mean that you have a 'Get out of Jail Free' card to use whenever you want to. Besides, you still owe me for last time._

_HA! So you admit that I am in fact Iron Man! …I think I have other ways of making it up to you._

_Tony! _

_Ohhhh you're blushing. I like that. ;)_

_You did not just try to pull a smiley face._

_:)_

_Would you stop? I'm trying to focus!_

_You smell nice._

_Tony! Pay attention!_

_I am!_

_Not to me! To them!_

_Now now, let's not be all selfish, Miss Potts. And you say I have a big ego._

_You DO!_

_Why are you yelling at meeee? D:_

_I am not yelling at you! It would just be a nice change if you would s—Tony, don't poke my side!_

_But you giggle! __Giggle!__ Now how can I possibly resist?_

_Tony, you are a cruel, cruel man._

_And you are the woman who shall rule all of Narina with me, my queen._

_Can I just pretend to know what you're talking about?_

_FOR NARNIA!_

…_Alright then._

_;D Hey who's the doink with the comb-over?_

_That would be Logan James. He's one of the heads of Stark's Financial Department. That's Howard McCoy next to him._

_What about that anorexic looking guy in the corner?_

_Bailey Barker? Something with a B. Tony_—

_Pfft. Ok, ok, what? Stop giving me that look!_

_Leave the poor man's name alone._

_But Pepper, __really__?_

_You call me 'Pepper'. Are you going to mock me for that?_

_No! It's a term of endearment. I gave you that name. I coined it. It's mine._

_I thought it was __my__ name._

_My point exactly._

_Are you saying that you own me as well?_

_Of course. Haven't you checked your heel? It's stamped across the bottom of your foot. …Did you seriously just look?_

_Oh stop it! Haven't you noticed by now that we're getting weird looks?_

_Pep, we're __always__ getting weird looks. Comes with the territory._

_Anyway, Bailey tried to get a journal circulating around the office a while back, but it fell through._

_Children these days. Just don't want to read. Remember that time when we danced?_

_Does your mind just zip from topic to topic?_

_Pretty much. Do you still have that dress?_

_Well, yeah, but I don't see what that has to do with the fact that __we are in a board meeting and have not been paying attention for the past 20 minutes._

_How come we didn't kiss?_

_Tony._

_No really, why didn't we? We came __this_ _close, but we still didn't. Did I scare you off or something?_

_Did you not notice the way people looked at us? How inappropriate that was?_

_Pepper, no one cares anymore. It's not a big deal. It's you and me. And then Rhodey's like the dog or random child we take care of._

_Tony I'm serious._

_So am I! It's no one else's business how you and I go about stuff. It's __our __relationship, not theirs. We could get married._

_Tony…we're not getting married._

_Why not? You love me, I love you, it's all good. Besides, we've practically been 'together' for almost what, nine years? If that's not commitment, I don't know what is._

_Yes, but we've only been __together __'together' for about a month or so. That changes this._

_So if I asked, what would you say?_

_If you asked me… If you asked to marry you?_

_Yes._

_What do you think I would say?_

_Well, I …Hey, she's smiling. Haha, I see how she is. She's just afraid to admit that she's wild about yours truly. ;) But at least know I know that she really does love me._

_Of course she does. ;)_

_(Ha! You used a smiley. Busted.) And of course she knows that he loves her._

_(Oh, darn. Foiled again.) Of course she knows. Now he knows that she loves him._

_So he knows that she knows what he knew that he thought she when she was thinking what she thought when he thought it._

_If we get married, can we have like, ten kids?_

_As long as we can name one Hannibal._

_Tony, we are not naming one of our non-existent children after a fictional cannibal._

_But we could make him a vegetarian! The ultimate oxy-moron._

_I feel bad for these kids._

_Me too. With our big egos we'll probably end up over-inflating them._

_That makes no sense._

_Neither does building a miniature arc reactor in a cave with a box of scraps. But you don't see me complaining._

_Neither am I_—_Tony._

_What?_

_Crap, Tony they're talking to us._

…_What do we say?_

_I don't know! I kind of…wasn't paying attention. Too busy passing notes about fake future children and how Rhodey's our deformed love-child. We're like two gossiping teenagers._

_Ah, what is it again? Oh yeah_—_OHREALLY?_

_Tony! What do we say now though? What do we do?_

_Just smile and nod! Nod and say yes! Something! You're blushing. How cute._

_I just made a complete fool out of myself. Fantastic._

_Hmm. So…Miss Potts…got any dinner plans?_

_That depends. Are you cooking?_

…_How's take-out sound?_

_Safe._

_Ouch. You hurt me. :(_

_Oh, I'm sure I can make it up to you._

_Oh really._

…_One of these days, I am going to slap you._

_I'd like to see you try. ;)_

* * *

"_Ow!" Came an annoyed grunt from the one of the tables positioned near the front of the room and a dozen or so heads swiveled to the two that were the cause of the commotion. The woman sat primly, giving the board members a light smile and wave. The man next to her had his face shoved against the papers covering the desk before him, his hands nursing a newly bruised shin. _

_Had anyone been more observant, they would have noticed the way their legs linked together at the ankles, and perhaps the way she'd discreetly hidden a few papers on her lap_—_ones she only hoped the others would never see, save for her cocky partner._

—


	4. This is a Battle of Wits and Names

******A/N: **This was inspired by an episode of 'Psych' ('The Greatest Adventure in the History of Basic Cable') which is something my friend and I like to use on each other. Thought it could work for these two, so why not go for it? Started it with one line and it went from there. Went a long way too... XD  
Pre-Iron Man 1. c:

**Multiple Personalities: Just When You Think You Don't Have Them...**

Pepper Potts was never one to beat around the bush. If you had a question, you asked it. If you had an answer, you gave it. Or, if you were Tony Stark, you either shrugged half-heartedly or made some random joke that would drive your Personal Assistant half insane.

Especially when there were a couple dozen other things that she _really _had to attend to—god forbid she have a social life or some _life _other than the work mood she was caught in for a better part of her day—and Tony apparently saw fit that she not make plans other than the ones he designated for her.

And no, after what happened last time, there was no way in h-e-double-toothpicks that she was _ever _going to allow him to plan a surprise party for her while she was still living. (Once she died he could have all the parties for her he wanted, granted he not metaphorically fall apart without her keeping his life in order.)

Pepper still had yet to look He-Who-Will-Never-Again-Be-Named-From-The-Office without turning a most unpleasant shade of red as a result.

"Let me be frank, Mr. Stark." She began, taking on the no-nonsense tone that always seemed to be lost on Tony, no matter how many times she tried it. Said man was seated on the floor of his workshop, sorting through bits and pieces of metal and wiring that the PA could only haphazardly guess had once been part of a car engine. Or a toaster. After a brief pause, Pepper began to speak again, only to be cut off mid-sentence by his otherwise casual response. "I have these forms from the board that need to be signed by—"

"Alright, as long as I can be Stacy."

She blinked at the slightly-middle-aged-though-he-won't-admit-it man who had now chosen to tinker with a small metallic box with his trusty screwdriver. Her furrowed brow was not lost on him.

"Mr. Stark—"

"Ah, ah, ah. I'm Stacy, remember? If you have the ability to suddenly change your name, shouldn't I have the same rights? Please, at least grant me that much." He hummed thoughtfully to himself, rubbing a dirtied hand against his chin with a mockingly philosophical look. "In other words, you're being racist, _Frank._"

While she ought to have ended the joke before he got it fully up and running, she found herself driven by a strange curiosity that constantly followed her in regards to her boss, so rather than 'cut it out' now, she could only bring herself to ask: "How is that racist?"

"Ethnocentrism!" Tony declared, tearing his gaze away from his latest project and pointing at the woman with the wrench he'd just grabbed. "You apparently felt that your new race of Miss-Pepper-Potts-turned-Frank obviously triumphed over my race of once-amazingly-dashing-Mr.-Tony-Stark-now-Stacy for the—albeit brief—period of time that we have been in existence. We are quite hurt by this wrongful accusation, and hope that you would in fact find it in your heart to make it up to us and amend this injustice."

To her, blinking in mild confusion and surprise seemed to be the only appropriate response. That didn't mean she wasn't already exasperated with him, however.

"Look, Mr. Stark—"

"_Stacy_! I will take this to court!" She could see the tug of a small grin at the corner of his mouth. Part of her felt mildly amused. Mildly.

"_Mr. Sta—_"

"Court!" He cut in again, not exactly expecting the sudden outburst of a response he got to this statement. He'd been hoping that Pepper would've chuckled a bit at this before getting to what she wanted from him.

"I don't have time for this! I have a whole mob of reporters to get to, a pile of _your_ e-mails to respond to, four lab reports that have come back with the numbers completely screwed up, three press conferences to handle, another one of _your_ one-night stands to get rid of, one of your harassment charges to settle, and one of my own appointments to keep. Would you please just sign this form so I can go? I don't get paid enough for this."

He let this sink in for a moment, staring at her in (slight) mock incredulity. "You get _paid_ to put up with me? How do you _do _it?"

Had steam starting sprouting out of her ears during her speech and as of now, Tony wouldn't have been all that shocked.

"The benefits weren't that bad."

"_Really._" That damned smirk of his was back again. Pepper would've slapped him upside the end had he not been her boss and on the other side of the room. He still probably would have laughed it off or made some other smartass remark.

"Not _those _kinds of benefits, Stark. Besides, the dental's not so great."

"The scoundrels!" He muttered, going back to fiddling with the mess before him, this time focusing on a copper wire than had been poking into his knee. "And I'll have you know that I expect to see you in court Monday, Frank."

Pepper had been growing less and less amused with each moment that passed within the confines of Stark's workshop. Her resolve was beginning to wear thin, that much he could tell.

"I swear, if I had anything remotely close to a wrench in my hand, I would be beating you with it."

"Now now, Frank, that would be harassment. Yet another blemish to add to your record. Tut tut." His bemused expression was grating on her nerves, and damn if he didn't know it. In all honesty, Tony was just glad that she still couldn't reach him without lunging over a table and the scraps that littered the ground.

"Mr. Stark, what am I going to do with you?"

Tony was still partially shocked that she'd managed to stay down here this long without throwing the folder in her hand at his head. Of course, he couldn't just like a comment like _that _ slip by without some sort of smart retort.

"Hmm, I don't know about that." He mused, and then promptly faked some sort of look expressing deep thought. "Then again, there are a few things you could do _to _me if you have the—"

"_Mr. Stark!_" Miss Potts had taken on a lovely color to compliment the nickname her employer had so sweetly imposed upon her, much to his enjoyment. Not that he was about to enjoy the amount of pain she was most likely going to force him to endure. Ah well, might as well make his last few moment of existence worth it.

"Oh come _on_. You've been here almost two years. I thought you knew me!" A back of a hand pressed to his forehead dramatically, and one would have thought he was miming a heat stroke. This hardly fazed Pepper.

"...It's been seven, Stark. And even then I don't think I'd want to do anything resembling what you have in mind." She dead-panned. Tony winced only slightly at her tone, a deeper part of himself slightly hurt at what she said for some unfathomable reason. Without letting that jab at his pride show he stood amidst the rubble from his latest escapade, giving his faithful PA the trademark lopsided grin that had yet to fail him. _Yet_.

With a stride that could have been linked to overconfidence he made his way to the annoyed woman until he stood just in front of her—he could have kneed her in the thigh if he bent his leg just a bit.

"...You wound me, Potts. You really do."

Pepper tried to ignore the fact that her boss—_boss—_was standing not even a foot away from her with a grin on his face and something she couldn't name is his eyes. It took her a moment to respond, only able to stare up at him with a fairly flustered look that she knew was most unbecoming. A heartbeat and she smirked back with her own somewhat witty comment.

"Oh could do _far_ worse, Mr. Stark." Perhaps it wasn't completely appropriate, but this could have been deemed as a game between friends, couldn't it? Right?

"I must admit that I'm quite curious now. Care to elaborate?" Pepper heard the alarms and sirens go off in her head as Tony face inclined a bit closer. He seemed hesitant however, so it was clear that this wasn't something that he 'just did,' but rather he was putting a great deal of thought into what he was about to do.

But what that _what_ was, Pepper wasn't so sure she wanted to know.

Rather than lean right back at him like the less ration part of her was urging her to, she instead took an unconscious step backward, bumping into his desk and a few other miscellaneous objects in the process.

And of the course, Pepper managed to step on the screwdriver Tony had abandoned moments earlier.

Acting on pure instinct, the redhead lashed out, fingers clutching at whatever was closest in order to maintain her balance, and that 'whatever' just so happened to be the man standing directly in front of her. His eyes widened as they fell, mimicking her own as she went backwards, managing to land partially on his desk due to the arms that had shot out to grab her as they both went down.

"Sheesh, Potts," He murmured into her hair, chuckling in the back of his throat. "Very graceful, might I add."

"Shut up," She muttered back, irrationally thankful that his face was turned away from her and that he couldn't see the blush splayed across her face. He began to pull away, stopping just as their faces were inches apart once more.

"You okay?" His eyebrow rose in question, and she gave a mute nod in response, feeling a misplaced pen jab into her back.

"I've been better." She grumbled, annoyed with herself for blushing due to both her near fall and the close proximity of the man—her _boss_. Pepper almost wanted to smack him when he started laughing with that playful gleam in his eye.

"So, you were saying you 'could do worse?'"

Pepper couldn't fight her own smile and was about to speak when the transparent glass door swung upon, allowing Colonel Rhodes to stride right on in to the workshop.

"Tony you were supposed to be at the base an hour ago and I—"

The military man's words died in his throat as he glanced up from his watch, finally taking in the ungodly—and quite embarrassing scene. He flushed, glancing around like a child caught making trouble as he averted his gaze from what Tony and Pepper finally realized to be a fairly compromising position.

"If I interrupted something, I can, uh..." He cleared his throat. "Look, I'll just come back later when, uh..."

"N-No, I was just leaving." Pepper interjected, pushing a dazed looking Tony off of her and smoothing out her blouse and skirt. Rhodey made some comment under his breath, but whether the two heard it, he would never know. Tony finally snapped back into reality, nodding numbly and failing to make the smartass comment he typically would have under any other circumstances.

"Right. She was...Leaving?"

Pepper obviously missed the dismayed tone he'd used, too busy trying to look both presentable and mask whatever had just happened. Rhodey said nothing, only nodding slightly. Pepper looked back at Tony, trying to smile pleasantly without blushing. Needless to say, she was failing badly.

"Will that be all, Mr. Stark?"

"I—what? Oh. Yes, that will be all, Miss Potts."

Brushing by Rhodey and trying not to sprint up the staircase, Pepper finally released her sigh after crossing the threshold, running a hand through her hair to prepare herself for the she-devil that he put up fort in Tony Stark's bedroom and refused to leave without his bidding her farewell with the promise to call her every hour, on the hour.

Needless to say, those forms never were signed.

* * *

"'_Just leaving', huh Tony? You mind hanging a sock or tie to the door handle next time? That is _not _something I want to walk in on." Rhodey shook his head, partly enjoying the fact that the invincible Tony Stark was trying to keep his head cool and not completely lose it. "Or are you just going to make excuses and say that there's nothing going on? 'Cause that's bull and we both know it."_

_Tony frowned at him._

"_Shut it, Rhodey."_


	5. I am in Your Face Waking You Up

**A/N: **It's already been a week. And my goal is to have this update at least once or twice a week, if not more.:D  
This idea popped into my head after watching a clip with Dr. Cox and JD from 'Scrubs,' and thus, this was born. (The title below is actually a quote from said clip.) Because Tony is awesome like that and it's obvious that he does what he can to try to make Pepper happy.  
Post IM2.

**Bottom Line, We'll Be Bestest Friends For Everest. . .**

Tony Stark's childish grin was definitely not the first thing that Pepper Potts wanted to wake up to. This then of course brought to mind the question of _why _he was in her bedroom and just _what _he wanted. All she knew right then and there was that it better be pretty damn important for disrupting her peaceful sleep.

It took her a few moments to register that she was in fact in _his _house and on _his_ couch.

That was all after she suddenly yelped and smacked him, of course.

"You _hit _me." Tony muttered incredulously, having rocked back on his heels in shock due to the palm that collided with his forehead. "Holy crap, you actually hit me."

"Well, what are you doing hovering over me while I sleep?" She responded hotly, yawning into her hand while Tony got back up to crouch on the balls of his feet in front her still half-asleep face, a smirk pulling at his lips.

"You talk when you sleep." He stated, looking right at here. "And might I add, all you have to do is _ask._"

He winked at her. It took a moment for her process his sly comment before her face flushed.

"Tony! I do _not_ talk in my sleep! And I do _not_ say things like that either!"

He ducked as her hand swept through the air over his head. When she went back for another attempt he grabbed her wrist, holding it loosely.

"Alright, alright." He breathed, surrendering his short lived victory at making Pepper blush. "You don't talk in your sleep. But if you did, you'd probably say something along those lines." Her expression did not support that theory. "Or maybe not. But how do you know it won't work unless you try it?"

"I'd rather not test that." She muttered, blinking wearily at him and pressing the side of her head back into the pillow and stifling a yawn with her palm. "Was there something you wanted?"

"If you must indisputably know, you look peaceful when you sleep." Tony said, leaning his chin into the couch cushion only a few inches from her own. "It's kind of...I don't know, a reminder that Pepper Potts is human. Besides, you don't look stressed when you sleep like you usually do when you're awake. It's kind of a nice change —you look calm, relaxed. So sue me if I like that."

Pepper tried and failed to hide her smile. "How long have you been watching me sleep, Tony?"

"I don't have any video of it, if that's what you're asking." He replied with his serious sounding sarcastic tone. Just to get a rise out of her, he added under his breath: "_Yet._"

It worked. "Mr. Stark—"

"Pepper," He groaned to cut her off. "How are we going to make this relationship work if you keep calling me 'Mr. Stark?' It just makes it... Well the old you would have called it inappropriate. I just call it weird. I can't win with you, can I?"

"I believe you would find a way to make it work somewhere in that strange little mind of yours." Pepper wouldn't have gotten anywhere with her former boss without the ability to respond with witty comments of her own. They may not have been the best the two had ever heard, but for what it was worth, they worked.

"In due time, _Miss Potts._"

She rolled her eyes.

"Fantastic, I shouldn't have said anything." She turned to face into the pillow, letting some her loose hair fall into her face, much to the man's dismay.

"Mmm, maybe not, but that's not the point is it?" Whether or not he understood her grumbled reply, he didn't say anything. "No, no, the truth is, I have something very important to ask you."

"What?" She mumbled in her currently tired voice, turning her head back to look at him. There was a pause, and some part of her was thinking that something had happened to the Iron Man suit something had come up with S.H.I.E.L.D. or the like. Or maybe he was being sued. _Again._

"Pancakes or waffles?"

The question was so unexpected, she had no idea what to say.

"I...What?"

"Pancakes or waffles?" He repeated, albeit a bit slower this time for her sleepy mind to comprehend. "Pick one. Any one."

"Er, waffles?" She murmured—more a question than a statement, but Tony wasn't so easily sway. That grin of his was back again, and he shot up like a delighted little child that had just been told Christmas was coming early this year.

"An _excellent_ decision, _Miss Potts._" And with that he bounded off into the kitchen, leaving a fairly confused Pepper behind, half-asleep on the couch. She'd begun to doze off again, but her attempted transition into unconsciousness was quickly interrupted by Tony's remark that, "Hey, at least I'm not asking you to find a fire extinguisher and call an ambulance worse, right? This could have been worse."

Now _that_ was a sure-fire guarantee to get Pepper up and moving. Tony obviously knew that.

Righting the rumbled clothing she's fallen asleep in—wait, was this _his_ shirt?—she quickly padded into the room Tony had just sprinted off to, if only to make sure he was still alive and everything was in one piece.

"Tony, I..." She trailed off, taking in and assessing the damage that Tony had done to the once empty and spotless kitchen. Bits of batter and goo stuck to miscellaneous appliances, a few pans along with some other odds and ends had been shoved into the sink, flour coated the counter tops, and each and every one of the cabinets and drawers had been opened and rummaged through. The refrigerator hummed with a melancholy tone as the door swung behind him, exposing the few broken eggs on one of the shelves, a few rouge ones lying scattered and broken on the floor.

The only clean thing in the entire room was Tony, who had turned to grin at her from where he stood. In his hand sat a plate of sorry looking waffles, the edges darkened, and a few over-ripe raspberries plopped on top of them haphazardly.

"Well. . ." He began, making his way over to Pepper, stepping around the napkins that had exploded from their holder to litter the ground. Tony stopped, holding the plate toward, grinning in that '_look what I did mom!_' fashion. She couldn't help but smile back.

And then stare at him blankly while he sang,

"_. . .It's waffle time, it's waffle time, won't you have some waffles of mine?"_

* * *

"_Tony you. . .You made these?"_

"_You seem impressed. Right now I'm wondering if that's a good thing or if I should be worried."_

_She glanced up at him from the sad looking waffles on the plate to smile. "Well, I wouldn't say it's all too bad..." She paused. "Is that a _waffle_ on the _ceiling_?"_

_He didn't have to look._

"_Yeah. Apparently, waffles don't need to be flipped that hard. Or even flipped at all. Go figure."_

**A/N: **Tony Stark, multi-million dollar CEO of the world's largest and most successful weapons industries. Master of smoothing things over, small talk, and charming his way out of (most) everything. Nooot the world's greatest cook.

But he _tries._

So, yey, as J.D. puts it: "It's waffle time!" :D


	6. You lose, Stark, You Lose

**A/N:** Well,I figured these couldn't all be humorous and fluffy without something to balance it out. Some serious ones couldn't hurt, could they? So yes, I shall post of few of those more serious and dramatic ones once they are done. :D  
Formatting is strange for its own good.  
Ivan Vanko. You little whack-job, you. Perhaps threatening Pepper's safety while Tony's still breathing wasn't exactly your best bet.

**Countdown Begins in Ten...Nine...**

_Tick tock._

Eight seconds.

"You lose."

"Pepper?"

_You lose._

Pepper.

_You lose._

_Where is Pepper?_

_Tony where are you going? Tony where are you going? _

_Where's Pepper?_

_Find Pepper. Find Pepper. Find her _now_._

"Tony! What're you doing?"

"Pepper?"

_You lose_.

"Pepper answer me."

Seven Seconds.

You lose.

"Tony! This guy's about to blow the entire expo! Where the hell are you—"

_Pepper!_

"Jarvis, we need to go faster."

"Sir, I'm afraid the suit can't quite handle that in this condition."

_You lose_.

"Jarvis, we need to go faster."

Ivan Vanko chuckles.

Tony Stark tries and fails to focus.

_You. Lose._

Tony Stark cannot lose.

_You._

Tony Stark does _not_ lose.

_Lose._

Tony Stark will _not _lose.

Six seconds.

_Pepper. We need to get to Pepper. Get to Pepper_ now_._

"Faster, Jarvis, dammit!"

_Loser. Failure._

_You are a disappointment._

_Can't you do anything right?_

_Pepper._

_What the hell is the matter with you?_

_You think the world revolves around you, don't you?_

_Pepper?_

_I quit, Mr. Stark._

_You're going to get yourself killed._

_Pepper!_

_I can't be part of that._

Five seconds.

_Did you just say you were dying?_

It's the other way around now.

Ivan Vanko chuckles.

Time keeps on slipping.

"Tony, man, you need to get out of there."

_Pepper. I have to get Pepper. I am going to get Pepper. Now._

_I am not screwing this up._

"Jarvis, we still need to go faster._"_

_Tony, what are you not telling me?_

_Now, the true history of the Stark name will be written._

_What do you mean you're not dying?_

_What your father did to my family over forty years, I will do to you in forty minutes. _

_Did you just say you're dying?_

Four seconds.

_You were going to tell me? You really were dying? Why didn't you tell me that?_

"Jarvis, why are we not there yet –enlighten me."

_If you could make God bleed, people would cease to believe in him, there will be blood in the water, and the sharks will come._

"The suit underwent extensive damage due to your most recent encounter, and as a result your body itself is-"

_All I have to do is sit back and watch as the world consumes you._

"How much farther, Jarvis."

_I hope you're ready._

"Jarvis, how much farther."

"We need at least three seconds, sir. Give or take a few milliseconds in regards to air resistance."

_Faster faster faster._

"We don't have milliseconds."

_Reactor isn't doing so great in the boots. Need another boost. Have to go faster._

"Tony?"

Three seconds.

_Could've been in Venice._

_Will that be all, Mr. Stark?_

_Miss Potts._

_Pepper?_

_You lose._

_I can't lose._

_You lose._

_I won't lose._

_You. Lose._

_Not this time._

"_A few tears for your long-lost boss?"_

_We aren't we there yet._

"_Tears of joy. I hate job-hunting."_

_I need to be there now._

Two seconds.

_Youloseyouloseyoulose._

_Nononono._

_Tony Stark, you lose._

"Pepper."

_Found her._

"Whoa—"

_Got her._

_You. . .lose?_

_That will be all, Miss Potts._

_I got Pepper. Pepper is safe. I found Pepper. Pepper is safe._

_Safe._

Ivan Vanko sighs.

Tony Stark has Pepper.

_I won._

* * *

"_I can't do this anymore! My body literally cannot handle this type of stress!"_

"_Look at me! I'd say I didn't do too bad there! Saved you, didn't I?"_

_And you were almost too late, Tony. Remember that next time._

_There won't be a next time._

**A/N: **Tony Stark does not mess around man. You do not mess with his woman, obviously.

Because then he freaks out and has to hurry to get her to safety. :D

...Maybe I'll write something with like this but Stane it in from IM...hmm...


	7. You're a Child, Tony!

**A/N:** I was told that a few people wouldn't mind a chapter similar to the last one only with Stane rather than Vanko, in regards to the end of the first Iron Man movie. I liked the idea to begin with, so this is it.  
I also suppose that there's a bit of a story to this one more so than the other, but that's considering the fact that it seemed to work more for this. Ok, ok, to be honest, I didn't quite like this one as much as the one with Vanko. I don't know, the other one was more interesting and fun to write. This one I felt like there was too much story to –though that makes sense, seeing as Tony's 'enemy' was someone he'd all but grown up with and trusted.  
Hmm.

Here...we...go.

**Don't be such a Sourpuss, Stark. . .**

_You really think that just because you have an idea, it belongs to you? Your father, he helped give us the atomic bomb. Now what kind of world would it be today if he was as selfish as you?_

_Selfish?_

_Wanting to keep my own heart beating...To keep Pepper alive, that's selfish?_

_I want to still she her face, to see her smile._

_And that's...wrong?_

Tony Stark is delirious.

He struggles just to take in a few gasping breaths, unable to exert control over any of the muscles in his body. His eyelids are too heavy, his legs are weak. His eyes are glassy. He can hardly keep his gaze focused for more than a few moments before he's given himself a headache.

The shrapnel in his chest is migrating.

_Damn it Tony. Come on._

Roll over. Sit. Play dead. He may as well be a drugged-up dog lying belly-up for the amount of progress he's making.

_It'll wear off soon enough. Fifteen minutes._

He can curl his toes. He can hardly breathe for the life of him, but he can curl his toes.

_Shame you had to bring Pepper into this. I would have preferred she live..._

The gaping hole in his chest isn't just from the pain of Obadiah's favorite little rejected toy anymore.

_Pepper_.

He's on the floor of his living room, his head in-cased in sweat and his ears still ringing.

_Tony?_

It takes a few moments, but he's able to push himself up onto his forearms, and then his knees.

He eyes on the phone dropped onto the couch cushions and debates calling her.

_Tony, you're late._

He's lucky he doesn't fall down the stairs and break his nose by the time he reaches to bottom.

The door sticks.

_I have been called many things. Nostalgic is not one of them._

If he didn't die before he made it to her, she'd never hear the end of how thankful he was that for once she went against his wishes and kept something he'd asked her to throw away.

He can't reach it.

_Proof that Tony Stark has a Heart._

He's on the floor covered in sweat, barely breathing, and he can't reach the only damn thing that's going to keep him alive.

A robot arm whirs above him, and a smile plays at his lips.

The last thing he hears is glass shattering.

_When I ordered the hit on you, I was worried that I was killing the golden goose._

"Tony?"

_But, you see, it was just fate that you survived it, leaving one last golden egg to give._

"Keep the skies clear."

_Obadiah. I will find you. And when I do, I will kill you._

"Let's move Jarvis."

"Sir, this suit you are wearing now has not yet properly adapted to the miniaturized reactor in your chest at the moment. I'm afraid you can't do as much as you would like it—"

"Jarvis, either kick up the speed or I am leaving you behind."

The suit jerks, but he has more pressing matters to focus on.

_Shame you had to bring Pepper into this..._

_Obadiah. You touch her, you look at her, hell, you even _think_ about her, and I will kill you._

_I would have preferred she live..._

He can hear an unspoken 'if' in that sentence.

If_ she lives I'll—_

_If._

_There is no if._

_Only when._

_Never any if._

His factory has never seemed farther away.

_Mr. Stane...Obadiah Stane...Obadiah...Obie..._

_I thought we were friends. Partners._

_But you treated me like a child._

_You were dad's friend. Dad._

_Did you kill them too? Were they in your way? You wanted power, control. Did you kill my parents, Obie?_

_Obie. You called and told me they were gone. _You_ called._

There is an extra kick from the repulsors in his boots.

_Did you kill Dad, Obie?_

Even if it may not be the truth, it only fuels his rage more so.

_I trusted you, God dammit. And what do I get in return?_

_You try to kill me. You try to kill me you almost succeed._

_And now you threaten Pepper. The one good thing in my life, and you threaten her._

Somewhere in the bowels of the factory, Pepper Potts screams.

_I'm going to kick your ass._

_You threaten Pepper._

Pepper runs, but she has nowhere to hide.

_You screw with Pepper, you screw with me._

Tony is blind with rage and grief.

Obadiah smiles behind a mask of metal and lies.

Pepper doesn't answer her phone.

_Tony, Tony, Tony..._

He almost breathes a sigh of relief when an incoming call pops up in the HUD flashing the name '_Pepper Potts._'

"Pepper—"

"Tony! It's Obadiah! He's gone insane!"

"Pepper—"

"He built a suit—"

_Pepper, I need to tell you something first._

Tony grits his teeth.

_Don't ever, ever, _ever_, ask me to do anything like that, ever again!_

He chants her name in his head, but the distance between the two is closing too slowly for his liking.

_I don't have anyone but you._

He's closer now, but the power levels of the Mark I reactor are diminishing quickly.

Jarvis reiterates that fact, trying to be as gentle as a seemingly humanized mainframe could have been while telling his boss that his favorite employee's life was on the line.

_Obadiah, you worthless piece of damned filth—scum of the earth. And I thought I was bad. You are worthless. You have nothing. You were nothing. And Dad gave you everything._

Pepper's not answering him.

_And now you try to take it all away._

Another second and Tony can all but sense another nail being hammered into Pepper's coffin.

_Obadiah, I am going to find you._

There is a pause.

_And I am going to make you regret everything you have ever done._

Pepper says nothing.

_You're all I have too, y'know._

"Pepper?"

He listens through static and wind rushing by, clicking of flaps on the back of his suit, trying to cancel out air resistance, and he hears nothing but silence on her end.

_Shame you had to bring Pepper into this. I would have preferred she live..._

_She can't be. No, no, that's impossible. There's only two reasons that Pepper Potts wouldn't answer her phone, and that would be because she was in the shower, and the other—_

_Unacceptable._

Anthony Edward Stark is beyond being 'pissed' now.

The silence encasing him snaps.

"_Tony!"_

The shrapnel in his chest is not the only thing pulling his heart apart. The uncensored fear and terror in her voice echoes around his head in the HUD and mimics his own.

Tony Stark will not let Pepper Potts die.

_Obadiah, you touch her and I'll—_

Two more rooftops and he'll be all but sitting above the Arc Reactor.

"Tony..."

He can hear the whir of gears and metal through the small speaker of a dropped cell phone.

He knows that sounds.

He can't stand that sound.

Because it never ends well for the receiving end.

Tony can see a grotesquely large figure composed of gray and destruction, and flash of orange.

"Your services are no longer required."

He sees red.

In that moment, all of his pent up fear, rage, and unvoiced grief from into a single name that he now despises for every fiber of its being:

"_Staaaaannnee!_"

* * *

_Pepper throws her arms over her head, and the last thing she sees is a figure slam into the titan before her. Never before has she been more relieved to see Tony's red and gold form fall out of the sky._

_And then she is told that she must over-ride the Arc Reactor to prevent a melt-down, which could kill both Stane and Tony in the process._

_If they both live through this, she decides, she was going to kill him._

_After she kissed him, maybe._


	8. These Are 50 Things I Love About You

**A/N:** I'm sorry I haven't responded to that many reviews yet. I started out strong and then began slacking off, but I really am working on that, I promise! :) (And Marie Nomad, I am working on the idea you gave me as well.)

This wasn't exactly what I was planning on having as this chapter, but you can see how that goes… And I mean hey, in the story's description it even says _'__…moments when things could have gone better, and the reasons why he loves her.__' _so durrr I obviously have to write out something pertaining to that.  
But you get my drift.  
These are in no particular order, save for perhaps numbers 50, 2, and 1. [_**Number 23**_ would make sense if you were to read the _Iron Man_ novelization, and _**Numbers 12 **_&_** 3**_ would make sense if you were to read the _Iron Man 2_ novelization.]  
Post IM-2. :)

You only think it's kind of corny because it pretty much is.

**The 50 Things Tony Stark Loves About Pepper Potts**

50. _He_ gave her the nickname 'Pepper.' She has never argued over it.

49. Her eyes crinkle when she laughs. _Really_ laughs.

48. He can make her laugh. But he hates that he can make her cry.

47. She remembers his birthday, even when he doesn't.

46. Her favorite color is blue. He made his Arc Reactor glow a bit brighter, just for her.

45. Her favorite actor is Robert Downey Jr. He'd like to think he knows why. (Her favorite band is Coldplay. He's not sure what to think of that.)

44. She made him do all the dishes one night. After a party. By _hand_.

43. She's put her hand_ in his chest_ for God's sake. If that's not love, what is?

42. She's threatened to quit multiple times, but she always returns.

41. There is just something about her saying, "Will that be all, Mr. Stark?"

40. She will eat jalapeños and Cajun food without breaking a sweat. (Rhodey can't get through half a pepper without his eyes watering.)

39. She will dance with him. Maybe she'll reject the idea initially, but she always will.

38. Despite the quips, the jokes, the ups, the downs—despite everything, she's still there. Just like she always has been.

37. She has some knowledge of technology and his gadgets, even if she won't admit it.

36. She used to put up with his one-night stands, even though she didn't like it. (He used to wonder if perhaps she was jealous. Maybe that was just wishful thinking.)

35. She's stubborn.

34. She worries about him.

33. To her, he's not just an employer. He's her friend. And now, he's not _just_ her friend.

32. Well, _she _ kissed him first. So there.

31. For years she has protected and defended him, whether it be from reporters, tabloids, rumors, or party-goers. It's his turn now.

30. So far, she has been the only one to find and have the gall to tell him about the mistakes he's made while crunching numbers for the business.

29. The first thing he saw when he got off that plane with his arm in a sling was her teary smile.

28. She still has _that_ dress.

27. She can be witty and sarcastic when she wants to.

26. She has fallen asleep on his couch multiple times. It's a beautiful sight really.

25. Even though she won't admit it, she does like some of his music.

24. Who else can look him in the eye and tell him that he's a complete moron and mean it? (Even tough, of course, she's obviously accepted that.)

23. She's not a cheeseburger. Really, she's not.

22. She's currently teaching him how to cook. However, they quickly learned that they are easily..._distracted_.

21. She'll eat what he cooks, just to humor him.

20. She might protest to begin with, but they still get away with passing notes when they're supposed to be paying attention in board meetings.

19. The tips of her ears get red when she's embarrassed.

18. Her blush matches her hair. He has thusly dubbed it his job to make her blush.

17. For the time being, their relationship is what one could call _incognito_. However, he has plans to go public with it soon. Preferably in front of a large crowd. Perhaps at the Stark Expo. On live television. In front of everyone.

16. Once when he had the flu she took care of him the whole time and refused to leave his side. He has never forgotten that.

15. That said, he is still not allowed to call her 'Doctor Pepper.' _One_ day...

14. She will, however, tolerate the fact that one of the only sodas he'll buy is Dr. Pepper. At least she'll always buy him his Crunch Berries.

13. At the moment, he really only wants to be _her_ hero.

12. Again, she puts up with his and Rhodey's frat-boy humor. In fact, she has even encouraged it with some of her own jokes.

11. Christine Everheart in all honesty scares him. However, she stands no chance against Pepper's 'death glare,' as he once witnessed.

10. There are times that he has fallen asleep on the couch and woken up to his head in her lap, her hands absently running through his hair. (He pretends to be asleep, though his smile makes it obvious that he isn't.)

9. He's allowed to call her at two in the morning, so long as there is an emergency. (Not being able to find the remote however, does not count.)

8. He'd like to think that she gets jealous over him. He'll never mention that to her, of course.

7. She made him that 'Proof That Tony Stark Has A Heart' Lucite stand. That says something.

6. He's still allowed to kiss her. Just not in front photographers. Or her father. Or someone who might know her father.

5. She's all he has, and apparently, he's all she has too.

4. She'll eat an 'American cheeseburger' with him. He always offers to pay, of course.

3. "Chivalry, Miss Potts, is not dead."

2. Despite the multiple incidents at the Expo, the race in Monaco, the fact that is Iron Man, the times he's tried to cover things up, the number of times that he risks his life, the way he acts, the comments he has made, his childish tendencies, the moments her life was at stake, and how he didn't tell her he was dying, she's still stuck by him. He's amazed by that.

1. Because she loves him. And because it's corny. But also because it's true.

* * *

_And because he couldn't fit it under the 'Top 50' reasons before him, Tony frowns in disappointment for a brief moment before squeezing another line in between his Number 1 and 2._

'_Even if it might not fall under this category, I will still kick anyone's ass that tries to threaten her. I've already lost three of the people I cared about most, and I'm not letting her go on that list.'_

"_Tony?"_

_He gives a slight start, his hand jerking out and knocking a few rough sketches of new projects to the floor in his surprise. He blinks; glancing up at her with a coy grin he hoped would mask his latest act. He can see that her eyes have darted from his face to the paper before him and back. Nonchalantly he shoves said paper into the drawer nearest him with the shake of his head._

"_Just some new specs for an update to the suit. Nothing much." She nods and dismisses it. Tony lets out a sigh that barely reaches the hairs above his lip. "Something up?"_

"_Rhodey just called." She says, clasping her hands in front of her. "He wanted to invite us out to dinner."_

"_Us?" Tony says, putting an extra emphasis on the single syllable with a notable smirk. "I like the sound of that..." He murmurs. "So what's on the menu?"_

"_Mexican." _

_He thinks of jalapeños and Number 40 and smirks. _"_Hot." _

_She stares at him blankly._

"_Please don't ruin my appetite already."_

"_Well that depends...Are you going to wear that dress?"_

_Pepper says nothing, but she does grin.  
_


	9. Snape, Snape, Severus Snape, DUMBLEDORE!

**A/N:** Guess what I'm seeing tonight at midniiiiiiight. ;D  
Plus, I wanted to mention 'Pepperony' sometime. The sooner the better, neigh?  
It seems kind of rushed because it kind of . . .was. XD  
Post-IM2?

**Fantasy, Reality, Muggles, and Wizards alike, meet Tony Stark.**

Pepper could only stare at the thing incredulously. It had appeared innocent enough to begin with, but all the same, it _had_ been a gift from Tony which was troublesome enough in itself.

"What is this?" She asked after a moment, looking up at him with a furrowed brow. She blinked a few times at him when she noticed his new accessory. "And since when do you wear glasses?"

"Doesn't matter," He replied with a shake of his head. "I just really need you to put this on." He gestured at the bag she held in her hands. He paused, and she could tell he was getting desperate when he added, "Please."

She groaned inwardly as her resolve crumbled.

"Just for tonight," Pepper stated with finality. She tried not to chuckle at his not-so-secret fist pump of victory. "But that's it." He shrugged, as if that last bit meant nothing.

"Fine by me, but you have to hurry."

"Wow," She murmured in mock shock. "For once _you're_ hurrying _me_? I think I need to sit down."

"You can sit when we get there." Tony practically whined. "But come _oonnn_. We have tickets and everything, but it won't mean anything if we don't get there in time!" Pepper stuck her hand into the gift bag, pulling out a fairly sizable black cloth and giving it a blank look before reaching in once more and pulling out the rest of the ensemble. She tried not to smile.

"This was Rhodey's idea, wasn't it?"

"It was a team effort," Tony said off-handedly, reaching over the help Pepper get adjusted. "He should be here soon...ish. If he's late, that's not my fault." She clicked her tongue at this, trying to fix her tie while Tony fiddled around with the cloth she set aside on the couch. "You want the hat?"

"I look ridiculous," Pepper muttered a few minutes later, staring at herself in the mirror. "I can't believe I let you talk me into this."

"_I _didn't do anything, Miss Potts," He retorted. "All I said was 'please,' and now the world knows that you are not completely resistant to my charm. Score one for the home team." He grinned, his fake glasses adding another touch of humor to his childish expression.

"Don't get used to it," Pepper replied, turning back to face him while adjusting her hair again. "And let the record show that it was all because you tried to make me feel guilty, saying that I'd be ruining the childhood you never really had and crushing every hope and ream Rhodey has ever had. And you also threatened to fire me, so thank you, Tony."

Tony gave her a pout. "I didn't _threaten_ you, I just told you very _nicely_ that you would never work in this city again and you would be completely breaking my heart if you didn't help me go through with this."

"Guilt trip." Pepper dead-panned, folding her arms.

"I do what I can." He smiled, lucky to get one of hers in response. He held his arm out to her with a "Shall we?" and Pepper off-handedly found herself thinking that he ought to wearing sweaters more often, though he could probably do without the cape.

"The marker on your forehead is a nice touch, by the way." He grinned as she said this, poking his head out the door before turning and giving her a nod that the coast was clear. "I still don't see why we had to do this in the bathroom though. Do you know how this looks?"

"Shh." He hissed, pulling her out of the restroom behind him, his head darting back and forth. "Now we just have to find—"

"Where the hell have you been?" Tony almost tripped over his own feet at the voice in his surprise, leaving Pepper to collide with his back when the man froze in place.

"Rhodey!" Tony exclaimed, clearing his throat to hide his embarrassment over his sudden lack of grace and having been caught sneaking out of the bathroom with Pepper. He stared at his friend for a moment before giving him a slight frown. "Who the hell are you supposed to be?"

"I could ask you the same thing." The army man shot back with his arms folded. "I've been waiting here for you two for the past half-hour. What took so long?" He nodded at Pepper. "You look nice."

"Um..." She glanced down at her outfit, her face matching her hair color as she finally realized who she looked like. "Thanks..."

"_You_ told me to wear this!" Tony jabbed at Rhodey with his finger in jest, even though in truth it had been his idea in the first place. "So what if I look like a dork? At least I make a good dork."

Both Rhodey and Pepper shook their heads at him. The former was the only one to say anything.

"Tony, that's just...No." The aforementioned man shrugged.

"Right. Good. That's all settled. Now _come on_ before we really are late." He was still clutching Pepper's wrist, and ended up having dragging her down the corridor with Colonel Rhodes trailing after them. "You know," He aimed over his shoulder at Pepper as they approached a sudden horde of people. "People would start thinking you and I are an item after all of this."

"...Right." Pepper replied with a short chortle. "Especially when we're running around dressed as wizards."

"We could be like Bradgelina!" Tony said, bringing up a couple that they'd once seen at the airport while picking up Pepper's parents once over the holidays. Somewhere behind them, Rhodey was shaking his head—again—before stopping short at a counter with a half-asleep man standing behind it. "But...better. I mean, what kind of nickname is Bradgelina? We've got Pepperony." Tony shrugged. "Or Topper, but personally I sort of like Pepperony better." He glanced over the lines of other patrons, taking in the bags of popper corn they were carting around. "Delicious."

"You're a dumbass." Rhodey muttered, stepping around his friend to hand the dazed man—now he was both tired and shocked at the sight of a man who looked incredibly similar to Tony Stark a.k.a. Iron Man only with a pair of cheap glasses and marker on his forehead.

"Ah, but a _smart_ dumbass that's also a so-called hero." Tony replied with the wave of his hand. "And as we all know, the hero gets the girl." He grinned hugely, raising his arm to wrap it around Pepper's shoulders. "Isn't that right, _Ginny?_"

She snickered, giving Tony's ribcage a playful shove. "Oh come off it, _Harry_."

The couple laughed amongst themselves, carving a path through the surprisingly large crowd of people before almost tripping over a pimple-faced boy proclaiming that he was in fact the boy wizard. Rhodey would admit that he was somewhat amused, but he was going to blame Tony for all of the odd stares and giggles that we aimed his way.

"Just shut up and find the right theater, Honeymooners." He muttered, placing a hand on each of their backs and giving the chuckling duo a light shove.

Tony's smug smirk hardly faltered when he looped his other arm around his best friend's neck.

"Aw, what's got your pillowcase in a bunch there, Doby?"

Colonel James Rhodes was never going to forgive Anthony Stark for making him parade around in little more than a bed sheet and a pair of socks, even if it was for their good of their own entertainment.

Ah, what silly little Muggles.

* * *

"_I _told_ you going at midnight was your best bet." Tony stated as the trio plopped down in a few seats toward a back corner, almost completely encased in darkness. He glanced over at Rhodey, who he could tell was desperately trying not to smile despite his obvious discomfort with what he was wearing. "And if you fall asleep, I will never forgive you."_

"_Spider." Pepper muttered, peering down the part of the floor she'd been about to place her purse on. "No Tony wait I'll get it—"_

"_AVADA KEDAVRA!"_

_Needless to say, that spider was no more, instead residing as mere residue on the bottom of Tony's shoe._


	10. Don't You Want Me Baby?

**A/N:** I'm sorry it's taken me little more than a week to finally get something else up, but I wanted something special for the monumental Chapter 10. XD (Despite these not exactly being 'chapters' per say, but beggars can't be choosers…)  
The ficlet with their note passing was fun to write, and it seemed to be the most popular one so far. That said, I still find them fun and cute. I want to do more of these including the ideas I already have for some of them, but I was also wondering if there were a few exchanges that you guys would like to see in regards to Pepper and Tony's note passing. Any prompts? Miscellaneous moments that you want highlighted? Shot.  
For the record, in this one they're texting. Texting with correct grammar and punctuation! Because I personally refuse to do so any other way. :D  
Pre-IM1.

**Don't…Don't You Want Me? Don't You Want Me OOOHHH.**

Pepper.

Tony, I'd appreciate it if you didn't text me in the middle of a board meeting, thanks.

But Pepper this is important.

I'm sure it can wait for another half hour Tony.

No this is really important.

Tony for the last time, NO, NASA is not going to call you and thank you for all of your unwanted input on their earth-bound satellite systems. And YOU don't need to call them to remind them of the migratory patterns of birds.

If any geese blip on their radars and cause a meltdown, that's not my fault. Those things are insane.

That's great, Tony.

I told them they weren't high-tech enough. I mean hell, you've got Stark Industries offering to build friggin' NASA a whole new system for a discount and you get rejected.

Oh and I'm sure you would know all about rejection.

From you? Yes. From everyone else? Not so much.

Don't let it go to your head, Tony.

Too late, it's already swelling with my ego.

I'm not surprised.

You wound me. Besides, I was kidding about the whole geese thing. I never knew a man could turn that many shades of purple when you tell him he's doing a piss-poor job.

Gosh, I wonder why he was so mad then.

Same here. Holy crap, is Robbins wearing a toupee?

How should I know?

Because it's MOVING. A guy's hair should not be MOVING, Pepper. Unless it's windblown. This just looks unnatural.

Stop staring then.

I can't now! Guh, look at it. It doesn't even match his sideburns.

What is it with you and staring at bald people? Just last week we were walking out to the car and you spent the next ten minutes going on about some elderly man across the street.

He's head was shiny, what was I supposed to do? You know I have a strange attraction to shiny things.

That would explain many things.

Wouldn't it though? Hey. What if I was bald?

Then you'd have no hair.

Huh. I had no idea. But seriously. My head would be shiny and awesome. I'd even let you touch it. You could rub my bald head for good luck!

Tony, I am not rubbing your bald head.

Aw, well then.

Besides, I don't think baldness really suits you. I just don't see it.

Alright, now that we've established that, I think it's high-time you started paying attention to other things. Such as this board meeting here. You're being a bad employee by completing zoning out.

You're lucky you're sitting at the other end of the table. Any closer and I would be beating the hypocrisy out of you.

Does everything have to end with me in pain?

Would you like it to?

If I say 'yes,' can I get a Get out of Jail Free card? I think I've earned it.

How so?

Because you love me.

…Really.

Don't deny it.

Right.

YOU KNOW YOU WANT ME. HOO-RAH.

Of course.

You can't hide it anymore Miss Potts, soon the rest of the world will know, and then what?

Mr. Stark, are you hitting on me?

Don't be absurd! I for one am not dancing around that fine line of employer-employee relationships, as are you, Potts. There are boundaries.

Oh my god, I'm really going to hit you.

NO. DENIED.

I am. And what did you just send me?

A wondrous work of art that you should appreciate for the next few eons, if not millennia.

Mr. Stark, your narcissism is going to come around and bite you right in the ass one day.

I have buns of steel.

Please tell me you did not just say that.

I didn't. You just alluded to it.

Why is that picture of you my new background?

Damn Miss Potts, obsession isn't healthy!

Why are you hacking into my phone? There are certain privileges that come with privacy, I hope you know. Are you going to tell me next that my apartment is bugged and that I've got some nice curtains?

Potts, there is no privacy between us. We know EVERYTHING about each other.

What's my favorite color?

…EXCEPT that.

I think I sue you for something. I'm not just what yet, but I will.

I'll be waiting. And I'll be the one there shouting OBJECTION for no apparent reason.

It's a date.

HOT DAMN. You finally admit it.

Mr. Stark, please.

I thought I told you to call me Tony?

Yes you did, but that does not mean you can call me whatever you wish to.

You mean, I can't call you Fluffy anymore?

No.

Guh, how can you do this to me Fluffy? I THOUGHT WE HAD SOMETHING.

I am going to hurl this proposal at your head.

I..wow. I'm flattered, really.

Get out of my line of vision. Right now.

You're eyes are really blue, you know that? Like an ice blue, cold, calculating…and glaring daggers at me. I get it.

Do you.

Yes. And Miss Potts?

What is it now?

You're fired.

* * *

_He lets it sink in for a moment, trying to mask his smirk with a cough, glancing over at her incredulous look aimed at her Blackberry's screen. Her eyes dart from the small electronic to what he tries to pass off as an indifferent mask. Her eyelids and lips flutter in muted shock, and Tony can see a few of the board members passing puzzled glances to one another as they take in both the CEO and his (once?) PA._

_He can only hope that she'll soon realize it was only a joke of his completely out of place. His theory is confirmed with the next message he receives on his own phone, and he has to bite the inside of this cheek to remain quiet._

'_Oh, that's good then. The sexual tension between us was starting to kill me.'_

_His head slams onto the table with a low grumble._


	11. One Fell Off and Bumped His Head!

**A/N: **I don't even know where I got the idea from. All I know is that I found it amusing. Pointless, but I digress. I still had fun. XD  
Who can tell me what movie the line "God I hate YouTube." is from? :D  
Post-IM1, Pre-IM2.

**Four Little Monkeys Jumping On the Bed**

"Pepper, how knowledgeable are you when it comes to the bedroom?"

Had he not been in another room, Tony Stark's face would have become the losing end in a game of Rock-em-Sock-em Robots.

That said, Pepper could only stare mutely at the intercom system laying across the table at the moment, her boss's immobile face returning her gaze with a haughty look of his own, his last statement splayed beneath it for the world to see and the should of fabric being ruffled somewhere in the background.

"_Excuse me?_"

"Come here, I need your assistance." He continued, as if her flustered response had had little effect on it—which it obviously didn't, unsurprisingly. His tone ended somewhat playful and mocking; despite how they'd both spent years trying to make sure that those quips and jokes always meant nothing. But damn if Tony didn't have to push that line.

With an exasperated sigh Pepper dropped her paperwork unceremoniously on the couch beside her, stalking up the curling staircase leading to the master bedroom. Running a hand through her hair she made her way over to the sound of his voice with a frown.

What she found made her stop dead, whatever comment she had been about to make lost in her throat.

"What are you doing?" He glanced up for a moment as if to confirm her presence.

"Exactly what it looks like." Tony replied, turning back to the disarray before him. His brow puckered momentarily, his mind undoubtedly running through his options until she spoke again.

"With all of that noise I thought...I don't even want to finish that sentence." She stood there in the doorway shaking her hand, her hand pressed to her mouth while he rummaged through his bed sheets. He let out an indistinct 'huh' from somewhere in the back of his throat, a smile toying at his lips.

"Duly noted. I'll poke fun at you for it later, but at present I need an extra set of hands."

"I—alright, what do you want me to do?" Her hands pressed to her hips she became all business, obviously confused as to why Tony's bed looked like it had been ravaged by a pack of wild dogs to reveal a bare mattress with its owner leaning over it as if studying a new circuit board he'd just put together.

"Mind the bedding. Here, come on over to my side." He said, waving his hand to her. Side-stepping the sheets, comforter, and miscellaneous blankets Pepper came to stand beside her boss who was busying crouching by his bed and wedging his hands between the mattress and box spring. He turned and smirked at her as she leaned down slightly, her hair brushing against his shoulder. "Hi there."

She looked at him blankly for a moment, glancing from his face to his hidden hands and then back to him with an amused grin growing on her own features. "Oh. Hi."

He nodded, cocking his head to the side and gesturing for her to follow suit, leading her to crouch down next to him with an expression that clearly stated _'would you mind explaining this to me now?'_

Tony smirked in a fairly devilish way, again motioning for her to wedge her small hands under the mattress just as he had done.

"Now we're going to try to flip it. On three, lift with your legs."

"Wait we're what?" She sputtered, quickly turning her head to face him, getting a serious nod in response. "…Tony?"

"One...two..."

On 'three' Tony shot up, taking Pepper with him as they successfully flipped over his mattress. As luck would have had it however, Tony found himself leaning a bit too far, one of his legs flying out with his foot caught in the sheets he'd warned Pepper about. Falling forward he flailed for a moment, his limbs tugging on the same sheet and as a result tripping Pepper as well and sending them tumbling onto the box spring mattress.

"Ow." She muttered, following their latest fairly embarrassing incident. "Of all the places to land, and I hit a spring. Lovely."

"You have my sympathies." He said, rolling over to face the ceiling, and then turning his face toward hers. "You alright?"

"I'm fine, Mr. Stark." Pepper quipped, putting an extra emphasis on the last bit. "Though I must admit that this is a new method in regards to getting a woman into your bedroom. I'm still working on a response."

Tony let out a low chuckle, pushing himself up with his elbows to sit on the edge of the box spring mattress. "I'll be waiting for it. Alright, time for a new plan. We're going for a ride. Pick a car."

"You're joking." She muttered as she followed suit, also resting on her own forearms. "What for?"

He gave her a blank look, as if he'd already spelled it out for her multiple times and in multiple languages.

"I need a new mattress."

Despite how badly she wanted to question him further, Pepper found herself unable to ask why as a knowing grin stretched itself across his jaw, shooting up and —further minding the sheets this time—made a beeline for the bedroom door and down the stairs. A few moments passed before Pepper let out a sigh and slowly followed suit, if only to make sure he didn't hurt himself in his haste.

Ten minutes later Tony was prying Pepper's fingernails out of the passenger side car seat. (This being the third and final car the man had finally settled on driving in.)

"Who gave you your license?" His PA murmured, scurrying out of the death trap that had the ability to go a bit too fast for her tastes, resorting to slamming her palms upon its roof as a result of there being no other stable surfaces to grasp onto, save for the bench on the other side of the parking lot.

"The state of California's Department of Motor Vehicles." Tony stated matter-of-factly, reaching into his back pocket and extracting his wallet and brandishing a plastic card with a smirking mug on it. Pepper stared at it numbly for a moment.

"Do tell,"

He shrugged off-handedly. "The instructor was cute." Tony winced briefly under her gaze. "Never mind, moving on." He said, begin to saunter off to Matt's 'Mazing Mattress Emporium whistling a tune he'd annoyed a couple dozen senators with on occasion. "Inform me when you find your center of balance, will you?"

Pepper knew better than to let the eccentric fool into a store alone. Their latest venture to Wal-Mart had been a field day for the chain of stores.

"…Well we got a shipment of Tempur-Pedic mattresses this morning, if that's what you're interested in. And in the back we have a whole set-up of some with memory foam with ten-percent off for the day." The salesman was saying as Pepper walked in on the conversation, Tony standing off to the side with an exaggeratedly interested look on his face, nodding along with every other word. A few sentences later it was obvious that the worker was losing his steam judging from the way Tony Stark gave him nothing to really work with.

"I want something that I can sleep on." He interjected, cutting off a statement regarding a sale the store was having in the next week. He snapped his fingers at the younger man. "Like from the commercial with the guy doing yoga. PranaSleep. He looks like Bruce Lee."

"He does not look like Bruce Lee." Pepper added in, randomly rummaging through her purse, most likely searching for her trusty Blackberry to see what Tony Stark was missing now. She glanced up at the salesman, noticing for the first time that his name tag read 'Peter.' "…Does he?"

'Peter' shrugged. "I don't know, I watch YouTube."

"God I hate YouTube." Tony muttered with his hand to his chin, glancing around, ignoring the murmured: _"It's _your _fault you end up on it all the time,"_ From the woman beside him. "Now let's do this."

Pepper would have gladly admitted that the first fifteen minutes, mattress shopping wasn't that bad, save for Tony's off-color side comments and such which only led to slow, unsure nods from Peter along with half-formed replies that Tony failed to pay any attention to.

"This one looks good," The industrialist stated, half flinging himself onto a nearby mattress, folding his arms behind his head on the display pillow after bouncing momentarily. "What say you, Potts?"

"I don't…" She started, glancing down at him from where she stood beside the salesman. "You're the one that has to sleep in it, not me."

"That can be arranged." The narcissist muttered under his breath though making sure the others could hear him. His posture hardly wavered under the heated look he was receiving. Peter took it upon himself to attempt to smooth things over for the time being.

"…Well this is one of those Tempur-Pedic ones I told you about earlier with the memory foam. It contours to your body while you sleep to make the night more relaxing for you and everything…you know, you sleep better with it."

Tony of course, couldn't let the idea of memory foam and contours slide by just like that.

"So you mean my mattress will take on the shape of my ass while I sleep? How exciting."

There was beat, and Pepper hid her snort with a well-placed cough. Peter let out a low chuckle.

"Yeah, I guess so."

"Sweet. Pepper, come on, you've gotta try this." Tony waved his hand to beckon her over, only to receive a slow shake oh her head.

"I'm alright. We're good there."

"No seriously, come on. At least sit."

"Tony—"

"Do it or you're fired?" Her pointed look was not lost on him as she walked around the mattress on display to the other side and then perching herself on the edge.

"Fantastic. Can we go now?"

"Oh come _on_." Her boss practically whined, trying to goad her into actually laying beside him. With a defeated sigh she finally complied, being sure to leave enough room for a body between them as her hair splayed out around her head, some brushing against Tony's bent elbow, causing him to smirk. Peter stared at them with a small grin of his own. Tony Stark a.k.a. Iron Man was out buying a mattress with his PA? Oh ho ho! Tonight was sure to be the Best. Blog. _Ever. _(M.J. would totally take him back now.)

"Alright, great." After a pause Pepper's head inclined a bit, turning to look over at him. "Please don't tell me I'm going to have to become familiar with this mattress in order to keep my job."

Tony choked on his own spit.

Thumping his chest with his hand he sat up, looking over at Peter. "Great. We'll take that one over there."

Peter and Pepper weren't sure whether to groan or just find some joy in this stretched out venture finally being over.

"Just not the floor model. I'd rather not take it home and sleep with a bunch of body oils and hair follicles and spit from small children." Tony added, getting a grimace from the woman while she quickly shot off the displayed mattress.

"And you made me _lay_ on it?" She sputtered, a shiver going down her spine. Tony bit his lip to keep his smile and laughter restrained.

"And you hardly put up any fight at all. Huh." With that, Tony expertly dogged the purse flying toward his head along with a strain of insults and general comments made under her breath.

Half-an-hour later Tony and Pepper were hauling his mattress up the stairs. Pepper tried not to laugh when he once more tripped over the bed sheets he'd left lying around.

"I meant to do that," He muttered as he stood up again, helping Pepper put his new bed together.

"I'm sure you did." Pepper replied with one more final adjustment and nodding at it. "A fine choice." She glanced out at him, studying his new bed before he turned his attention to her. "Will that be all, Mr. Stark?"

"Hmm…" He hummed quietly for a moment, casting her another sidelong glance from where he stood before looking down again with a lopsided grin that he quickly hid. "Then again…"

"What now, Mr. Stark?"

He gave her a pointed look that she found rather unsettling, her feeling solidified by his next comment.

"It's new though. It needs to be broken in."

And that is how two hours later Rhodey came to find Pepper and Tony jumping on the bed.

* * *

"_Why did you find it necessary to buy a new mattress?"_

"_Because it was lumpy. Kind of like Rhodey's ass."_

"_My ass is not lumpy."_

"_Whether it is or isn't, this conversation is just a bit too strange for my tastes."_

_"Oh be quiet and keep jumping."  
_


	12. All Systems Are Go, Are You Sure?

**A/N: **My lack of activity and updating is astounding in a non-amusing/no-amazing way. It's been two weeks, and I'm not overly proud of how I didn't get anything up. Ergh.  
This was written with no real idea in mind, and me more or less free-balling it. Ta-daaaa.

_"Hello Major Tom are you receiving?  
Turn the thrusters on.  
We're standing by."  
There's no reply._

**Hello Tony, Are You Receiving?**

"Tony…"

Sometimes it's the way she says his name.

"Tony…"

Just the simple phrase, those two syllables.

"I was thinking that maybe…"

In some ways, perhaps it's pathetic or strange, but all the same there's just something about it.

"…but I wanted to know what you thought…"

He doesn't know what to think really, just the way she says it, why she says it, that fact that _she_ says it.

"…after considering everything else, Tony, I thought…"

He sounds lovesick and rather _sad_ but it's true and there's nothing he can do to change that. Not that he really minds, but how is he supposed to go up to anyone and _admit_ it? Not that it would be a blow to his ego, but men don't admit that sort of stuff. And he's manly.

He's a man.

"…I mean, not that you'd have to—or not that I would either, but…"

A man who won't admit he's in love, but still a man. Because if he isn't, what is he?

"…It was just a thought…"

But then sometimes he wonders if she loves him. Does she? And then he wonders what she truly thinks about Iron Man. Does she see him as a nuisance? Or does she accept him? Does she love Iron Man?

Does she love him, or the idea?

And then he hates himself for doubting her.

Has she ever doubted him?

"Tony?"

His coffee is too hot, and it scalds his lip for a moment before he chokes it down, feeling the roof of his mouth and tongue go numb in the same instant.

And then there she is saying his name again. And again. And _again_.

"_Tony._"

Does it have the same effect on her as it does on him?

He smiles and thinks about dinner. It's simple really, the way he has it all planned out. First it'll start with whatever hors d'oeuvres survived their time in the oven, and then there's the issue main course...

Then again, he still has to ask her and get her to say yes. But it's worth a shot.

Shoot, is she annoyed with him now?

"Tony, are you even listening?"

She's studying him like a science specimen beneath a microscope. Her nose is crinkled a bit, her thin eyebrows furrowing together, and her freckles ride up on her face as she squints at him. Now all he has to do is get her to laugh and his day will be made.

The arc reactor whirs in his chest.

He attempts to smile and turn the scales of their somewhat platonic relationship.

"Tony."

He loves it when she smiles; when she laughs.

Not...when she's giving him that look. But then it quickly fades away and he's simply on the receiving end of a fairly indifferent mask. At the last moment he realizes that she'd been leaning in toward him as she pulls away. The corners of his mouth are tugged downward into a frown.

Crap, what's going on now?

He tries to smile again. It falters, but of course he tries to be coy about it. She won't have any of it. Aw man, what's he done now?

He says the first thing that comes to mind, if only to save his skin.

"Yes?"

But then her face lights up.

"Really?"

Inwardly he sighs in relief and she does the same, only audibly.

"Yeah, of course."

"I mean, I thought you wouldn't have—"

"Pep, it's _me_." He grins almost sardonically.

"I _know_," She breathes. "That's why I wasn't sure you would—"

"Pepper, Pepper, Pepper." He sits forward, clasping her hands in his own larger slightly rougher ones. "Didn't I ever tell you that doubt and worry was a fairly unbecoming look for you? Because if I haven't, I'm telling you now."

She smiling, and her freckled nose crinkles again.

"You honestly have no idea how relieved I am to hear you say that."

He's leaning closer, inclining his head toward hers slowly, almost in a shy manner as he responds. "I think I can fathom a guess."

"Hmm," She murmurs, tilting toward him before she's abruptly leaving his grasp—_dammit_—and suddenly up and standing in front of him.

Not one to miss a beat he outstretches his arms to places his hand on her waist.

"And just where, and do tell as I am quite curious, do you think you're going?"

He's biting back a groan of frustration when she twists, spinning out of his clutches and then sidestepping to leave the coffee table between them as a barrier. He's seriously considering just how well the circumstances would be in his favor if he were to fling himself over it, despite the result would be him crashing into her knees. Maybe she wouldn't mind.

"To get ready."

He's staring at her in silence for a moment.

"For what?"

And then it's her turn to stare.

Oh Jarvis' once fried circuit boards, what has he gotten himself into?

* * *

"_Wait, what's at eight?" He asks, pulling his palms away from the coffee table to sit up straight –like a child about to be reprimanded._

"_Really, Tony?" Her arms fold together, and he can tell she's unconsciously trying to keep her hip from jutting out to the side the way it usually does when she's got that almost pout look._

"_My short term memory has been on the fritz lately. Major Tom to ground control, nothing's getting through. Wanna enlighten me?"_

_He has his hands before him in the universal gesture of surrender. She's half-waiting for him to say "Uncle."_

_What she says next practically has him on the floor in muted shock as she turns and walks away, swaying her hips just slightly just because she knows he's watching._

"_We're meeting my parents for dinner."_

_Hot damn does he need to start paying attention more often._


	13. A Momentary Lapse of Reason

**A/N:** So this is embarrassing and rather than try to explain or make up excuses, I'm just going to leave this here. Do with it what you will. /explains anyway.  
Also, saw _The Avengers_ at midnight. Mind blown. New story hopefully soon. Bug _FishyIcon_ about it. See what happens.  
Follow-up to the last 'chapter' with Tony meeting Pepper's parents will hopefully come soon. [Served as a major problem when it came to trying to update this because I wanted to update with the follow-up rather than something else. But screw it, I wanted to write Pepperony.] Then again, consider this the pre-follow-up. ...exactly.  
I want to re-title this story. Any ideas?  
Post-IM2. feat. srs-buisness Tony.

**You think too much.  
**

His heart is artificial, so does that mean that any time it beats—or rather in his case hums—a bit stronger for anyone in particular, does that mean that his feelings are artificial as well?

He sits alone in his workshop for days on end and can very well spend hours studying empty spaces before him and debating that which makes him who he is and everything that it entails. JARVIS will occasionally chime in with words of math and science—a diagnostics test is complete, the latest stock rise or fall—, perhaps a quip about the weather and the necessity of Vitamin D in the human body, but often times the words are lost on the man who hardly hears them.

Instead, he rubs his hand to his chin thoughtfully, stubble scratching against fingertips and leaving him to consider the finer prospects of perhaps shaving the misshapen goatee. Anything to keep his mind occupied and away from thoughts that he assumes have to deal with his eminent demise.

Tony Stark doesn't sigh, and on the rare occasions that he does so it is often times due to the fact that he has successfully gone a staggering x-amount-of-hours without sleep or he is bored out of his mile-a-minute mind.

And yet today he sighs of his own volition. He sighs because he doesn't know how else to respond to the very thought that has been nagging at the back of his mind ever since an earlier conversation that week.

Since when has Tony Stark ever _not known_ something?

Heaving a heavy breath, the man tilts himself forward to rest his forehead to his palms, elbows locked tightly against the desk before him as images of the his prized hot rod flutter across the many screens adorning it. He lets the heel of his hands dig into his eyes as his mind starts churning out thought after thought, twitching through different options and means of trying to worm his way out of this one.

There is no worming his way out of this one.

The realization strikes him then, and in retaliation a series of calculations and varying ends assault his mind's eye and he tries and falls to successfully distract himself.

But since when have human relationships become calculations?

All things considered they very well could be, according to him. Person A plus Person B equals a hopefully successful and happy union, so why in the world couldn't this one be as simple?

It isn't that he doesn't want to meet her parents—he admired them as much as he feared them—but rather he found himself focusing too heavily on the fact that he had absolutely no background knowledge in order to consult when it came to taking this step. So much so that he was actually making himself more afraid of their meeting than he had been to begin with.

'What if's were bombarding him with such tenacity that it was actually starting to make his head hurt.

_What if_ they didn't like him? _What if_ he said the wrong thing? _What if_ they frowned upon the relationship? _What if_ he made himself look like an ass more so than usual? _What if_ he made the wrong impression? _What if_ he did something that made her never want to speak to him and end whatever it was right then and there?

What if they were too concerned over how Tony Stark was Iron Man and how it impacted Pepper's safety and well-being?

What if he had to tell them that it was the very same thought that often kept him up late at night, breaking into a cold sweat and fumbling around in the sheets in the empty bed struggling convince himself that they are all just dreams? That the nights she spends with him are the only restful and peaceful ones that he has, her fragile body curled against his as he clings to her and refuses to let go until she wakes him and chastises him for sleeping in so late? That there are times during the day he catches himself glancing over at her, gauging her every expression and action if only to make sure that she'd alright?

As true as it is, maybe he will never admit to the fact that to him, the most calming thing to fall asleep to is the feeling of her breath against his collar bone as he brushes hair away from her face, nose pressed into his neck as the arc reactor in his chest casts a dim blue light across the room.

It hums and whirs pensively in his chest cavity beside the organic mass thumping beneath his ribs, and it isn't until he pulls away one hand to absently tap against it that he realizes he isn't sure which one is actually keeping him alive.

He sits back in his chair and slumps, not overly appreciative of the deep, philosophical debate that comes with studying himself.

In his opinion, nothing good nor uplifting has ever come from the character study of Anthony E. Stark.

He thinks back to Natasha Romanov's evaluation of him and gives a humorless laugh aimed at himself.

As JARVIS speaks to him in that terribly monotonous false voice of his he closes his eyes and pinches the bridge of his nose as he sits in the dark waits.

Sometimes, he does want to be alone; he wants to be left to himself and his toys, the gadgets tucked into every other drawer or the next addition he can make to Iron Man. Tony casts a look in the direction of red and metal metallic suit of armor and sneers as it brings him back to thoughts of safety and procedure.

It isn't until he begins debating the fragility of the human life does he realize just how absolutely terrified he is of being alone. Of having no one to turn to in those last few moments to leave lasting words of wisdom or a scathing remark to. Of having no legacy or having anything to look back on after a lifetime of enjoying himself and to feel nothing but pride for.

To have no small hand gently wrap around his so that he can think maybe, just maybe, that he did something worthwhile with his life.

Tony Stark has everything before him: money, business, charisma, and the all the things he thought he could possibly need in the earlier years of his life, but none of the things that he wants.

He has no wide circle of friends, no true happiness or something that he will proudly deem as his own creation as something that does not bring violence or pain.

Tony Stark is not afraid—Tony Stark is scared out of his mind and has been left to his own thoughts for far too long.

He is a far cry from annoyed when there is the sound of a door opening somewhere beside him accompanied by the soft padding of bare feet against the workshop floor as he is approached. A breath of relief escapes his lips as the hand falls from his face, and he slowly opens his eyes as the footsteps stop and a pair of hands have reached out to him.

Gratefully, the man accepts the gesture and pulls her to meet him, the woman folded in on herself as they tuck their bodies close together in his desk chair and words that he doesn't hear are murmured into otherwise empty air.

She smiles and briefly he wonders if it is too overly sentimental to say that perhaps she owns both of his hearts. Maybe she always has.

He wants to tell her how much she means to him, wants to hold her where she is and declare that he'll never let go because he doesn't know how to but he doesn't because there aren't enough words to say so.

He wants to do all of these things that he can think of: promise her safety and security, being a better man and doing anything he can to prove himself deserving of her patience and affections as he slowly loses himself to his insecurities.

He wants to share with her his life and legacy, tell her the thoughts that have been plaguing his mind for months now and the ones that have been gnawing at him for the past hour as he sat in his workshop alone and struggled with the implications that he's afraid of their future and everything and anything it entails.

Instead, Tony Stark is too absorbed with the realization that he really did enjoy kissing Pepper Potts.

* * *

_"Tony..." she murmured, pulling away just long and far enough to level her gaze with his, fingers knotting in the hairs at the base of his skull. "Is something bothering you?"_

_He had a moment of doubt and considered owning up to his fears, but when he looks at Pepper instead he shakes his head with a smile grin just for her. "Nah, I've just been thinking."  
_

_She lets that linger in the air for a moment before slowly returning the gesture and he has to struggle to keep himself from looking too relieved.  
_

_Pepper hums, leaning forward until her mouth is just barely brushing against his. "You think too much."  
_

_Tony barely gets out a laugh.  
_


End file.
